INTERLUDE

I wandered in the darkness for some time,
There was a silence i now had started to like.
No friends, no family who care.
I wandered in the darkness for some time.

There was a burden in my mind,
Which I wanted no more,
for peace to come to my mind just once more.
But, nothing i did, helped me escape from the burden i felt.
My body trembled after a while; and my eyes filled with tears.

“Men don’t cry” is a statement made by a woman for sure.
‘coz every man I know has cried; in front or when no one’s around.
For people for whom they live their lives for.

I wished for happiness to all my loved ones.
With or without me for all i care.
I wish to be with them just once more again.
Am i asking more? –I asked for myself.
Maybe thats why death does- i told myself

I felt something on my chest.
Something so painful,
that I just couldn’t know what was happening to me after all.
I closed my eyes and fell down.
In something which what felt like a whirlpool.
And then, suddenly everything stopped.
I opened my eyes.
Standing in front of me were some guys in mask.
“congrats! Its a boy”-said one of them to the others in the mask.
“A chance again for me.... to start afresh a journey of life.”

who's to blame??

Kamal, 12yrs, stood, waiting patiently on the hill top. And then he it is coming. A little red rickety truck was approaching his camp. Kamal started running towards him. But he was not the only one; there was a huge crowd running towards the truck.
The truck slowed down. Kamal and many others tried to jump inside the truck. But the burly attendants standing inside started hitting these people with a cane and, pushing them off the truck. Kamal too tried to struggle with the attendant, but one of them kicked him off the truck.
Kamal fell of the truck. He was bleeding profusely, but was undeterred. He had faced incidents worse in magnitude. He got up and went back to the truck. Struggling amongst him, for 2 packets of grain and a few milk cartons, were his own friends and neighbours; but no one recognised him. They didn’t recognise themselves.
As he tried to reach the front of the crowd, pushing and pulling others, he recognised many men who came to his house that day, and destroyed everything they could find, and took turns with his mother. But he didn’t have time to think about all this and weep; he had got a family to feed now, now that his father too wasn’t there, (killed by a bomb attack in his garage). And so, kept moving on his quest to get some food. And as he reached the front, the attendants waved in the air, symbolising the stock was over, and shouted the driver to drive. Kamal waited till the truck was no more visible.

It doesn’t matter if Kamal was a Muslim or a Hindu; in Gujarat or J&K or even from Iraq, the point is that-there’s a 12 yrs old kid, who has seen life more than what his age requires, and today in on the verge of losing his sanity; We ask why naxals and criminals exist. Look closely, and you’ll find that almost in all cases, the situation is similar. I don’t intend to comment on the govt people, or their actions/inactions. But ask them to visit just one of such camps, even if it is not “your constituency”.

SUNGLASSES

As my car stopped at the traffic light, the other day, I was getting pissed off by everything around me, my boss, my neighbour who I was sure was stealing electricity from my meter; the blaring music-the Santro guy in front of me was playing; that I was stuck in that long queue of restless drivers ; or the fact that I couldn’t make time to write in my blog, something which was just mine, no string attached; And so to calm myself, I started looking around.
I saw an old guy and his wife waiting on in their 2 wheeler; A school bus with some naughty kids-playing with their “kerchief-guns”; some teenagers by-hearting their books for a test or something. And then I saw her.
Her car was parked just adjacent to mine. She was driving a sedan with her glass half-rolled down. What moved me was not her looks (not that she wasn’t beautiful or something!!), but her sunglasses. What was she hiding beneath those glasses, I started pondering.
Maybe she was hiding dark circles of a night out with friends; dancing and drinking shots all night. Bravo!! I said to her in my mind.
Maybe she was hiding a black eye; an injury caused by her boyfriend while having some altercation with her. How could anyone do something to a lady??
Maybe she was hiding puffy eyes; she might have cried all night thinking of a marriage she was not ready for.
As I started getting more curious about the girl, I saw that the traffic had started to move; and so put my car back to roaring, I saw the girl’s car pass by me. And suddenly, she took her hand out of the window and gave me “the finger”!!
I looked around. No one had noticed. After minutes of driving in absolute shock, I smiled to myself. I chuckled within and said to myself-“Something to write in my blog after all”

masks i wore.....

We all wear masks. Yes we do.
I stood in front of the mirror;
For once I couldn’t recognise myself;
I stood there trying to take off the mask,
But turns out there were many masks that I wore,
Every mask I pulled out a mask, they all said to me the same thing
“You made me when you needed me;
You are whatever you are, because of me;
Who are you otherwise?”
Did I make the mask or did it make me??-
I asked myself every time I pulled a mask away,

And when I had removed them all,
Not for once, but for ever at all,
What was left was someone I knew,
From my pictures of childhood of my own,
Is it really me??
Or a mask again?
But it was just me;
“Me” who had lost in a fair,
a long time ago.

Maybe I’ll have to wear a mask or a many more
From tomorrow or some days from now,
But what I’ll not forget is that-
I have a face of my own.

i stood there for some time......

I stood there for some time,
Wishing if somehow she would came back,
Will we ever be the same, as we were as kids??
I doubt so..
Suddenly what came into my mind, were words of a famous writer-“gone are the days, when the word brother filled my heart with emotions”.“ how it used to make my heart pound with love; recollecting all these things, i feel Week....pathetic...”
Was i overreacting?? Maybe...Atleast it was helped me tackle the numbness i was felt in my heart.

A phone call twice a day from her office desk, as she nurtured -the photo of me and herself standing on a balcony bleached by the sun’s everlasting fury- she would speak to me about everything-from my future plans to our mom’s surprise b’day party, our conversation has now become monotonous and forced; many times we fall short of things to talk....and just stand there holding the phone.
Some days as I lay on my bed, away from my laptop and worldy affairs, i see those days we spent together, those beautiful days when she was there

RAINY SEASON,HUH??!!!

Delhi is getting real hot these days, and Now that the schools are going to reopen next week, many nursery schools have decided to have a change in their nursery rhymes, just so that some god finds pity on these lil kids atleast and bestow us with some rain; so all the rhymes are on a revamp now , here are some of my favourite ones-
Rain!!rain!!!please come again!!!
Little tommy can play a video game!!!
Rain !!!rain!! come just now!!!

Pussy cat!!pussy cat!!!where have you been?
I’ve been to LAJPAT to buy some more cream!!!
Pussy cat!!!pussy cat!!!what else did you do there??
I drank some cold drink from haldiram’s there!!!

IS BELLING THE CAT WHAT I ASPISIRED FOR??

As I entered the office of my MBA coaching institute, I knew somehow or the other-my life was about to change. The moment I entered, I could see the receptionist getting prepared with her receipt book and other stuff. She asked me to sit and gave me a form.. As I was filling up the form, she asked me-“week-days or weekends”. “What”?-I fumbled. She smiled.” I asked”, she continued,” you’ll join for weekend batch or week-days? “Weekends, ma’am”-I said. A decade later when I came back to the institute, I found everything had changed, except for the receptionist, and the looks each student standing there, around me, was carrying just like me-CONFUSED. The very expression, which everyone had or has; quest of finding the answer of question –“if I would be able to bell the cat”

That was the first time I realized how things had changed. I could see myself sitting there and filling up the form myself. Believe me when I say this- there are very little sect of people who know why they do an MBA. Yeah of course in a P.I you do give hypothetical answers!!! But do we actually know. Per se had no idea why I did. And I still don’t. and so we end up embracing the famous tagline-“to sharpen our managerial skills” as “the” answer. But it certainly helped to become a better person, if not a better manager. I know I made mistakes .and cursed myself for making them. But now I understand that they were just “steps” which brought me this far. And I am happy about it.

May be all M.B.A meant was to teach that life was full of uncertainty, and sure it were. And which sadly couldn’t be solved by the logical reasoning ( I studied during my cat-coaching days) or any tools of disaster management (on which I eventually did a post graduation in), But by facing it as and when it comes.

No matter what subject you have specialized in; the fact remains that we all live the same life; same deadlines, same M.S office assistant called “rocky”, which has become as important as our sibling in our life, same “fully air-conditioned” cubicle waiting us. Even our mothers have similar thoughts -of getting us married A.S.A.P!!!!! We live the same life, no matter if one has got an tagline of-“M.B.A” or not.