Sunday, August 31, 2008

IS BELLING THE CAT WHAT I ASPISIRED FOR??


As I entered the office of my MBA coaching institute, I knew somehow or the other-my life was about to change. The moment I entered, I could see the receptionist getting prepared with her receipt book and other stuff. She asked me to sit and gave me a form.. As I was filling up the form, she asked me-“week-days or weekends”. “What”?-I fumbled. She smiled.” I asked”, she continued,” you’ll join for weekend batch or week-days? “Weekends, ma’am”-I said. A decade later when I came back to the institute, I found everything had changed, except for the receptionist, and the looks each student standing there, around me, was carrying just like me-CONFUSED. The very expression, which everyone had or has; quest of finding the answer of question –“if I would be able to bell the cat”

That was the first time I realized how things had changed. I could see myself sitting there and filling up the form myself. Believe me when I say this- there are very little sect of people who know why they do an MBA. Yeah of course in a P.I you do give hypothetical answers!!! But do we actually know. Per se had no idea why I did. And I still don’t. and so we end up embracing the famous tagline-“to sharpen our managerial skills” as “the” answer. But it certainly helped to become a better person, if not a better manager. I know I made mistakes .and cursed myself for making them. But now I understand that they were just “steps” which brought me this far. And I am happy about it.

May be all M.B.A meant was to teach that life was full of uncertainty, and sure it were. And which sadly couldn’t be solved by the logical reasoning ( I studied during my cat-coaching days) or any tools of disaster management (on which I eventually did a post graduation in), But by facing it as and when it comes.

No matter what subject you have specialized in; the fact remains that we all live the same life; same deadlines, same M.S office assistant called “rocky”, which has become as important as our sibling in our life, same “fully air-conditioned” cubicle waiting us. Even our mothers have similar thoughts -of getting us married A.S.A.P!!!!! We live the same life, no matter if one has got an tagline of-“M.B.A” or not.

Friday, August 8, 2008

IF ONLY I COULD HAVE HELPED HER......





I still can’t get over with that incident .it feel as if I am still witnessing that sight, I still remember…….
“You know Nikhil, you are the sweetest guy in our office”-said Ruchi. “Why are you being so formal, yaar. Wese bhi I had to drive back home. So by giving you a lift, I am not wasting my fuel or something”-I said. We could hear Arun snoring from the backseat. She looked behind and watching him sleep so peacefully, smiled.
Arun get up!!!!-I shouted.” call me up when we reach Ruchi’s home, yaar-he shouted back.” Stupid, we have already reached!!!”.”hmmm”-he said and opened his eyes partially.”” haven’t last slept properly for a week yaar.”-he grumbled and got up. He got up ay.” driver GHADI Ko ghar ki or le chalo”-he joked. Kyon,maharaja??Aj beer bar sab band he kya?? Jo ap itne jaldi ghar jayenge.-I commented, and started laughing.
We were waiting at the Pragati Maidan signal, when we saw her sitting in the bus stand, all alone. Arun asked. ” The traffic light had got green and we started moving. “ Hey she looks from a decent home yaar, should I could have offer her a lift. May be she got lost or something. Nikhil, are you out of your mind?? Can’t you make out??Which girl would be standing all alone in a bus stand. It’s a trick…-Arun said smiling.” A trick??-I asked.”Yup. ”these news channel wale do all these things to boast the TRP’s. Clearing his throat, he continued-“what they do is, they make one their female reporters like prostitutes dress and make them stand in such lonely places and if you know some guy comes near by for you know a “trade”. They get hold of him and show his face all over during their prime-time??
I laughed out load.” Who told you all this crap yaar? “kuch nahi to must be a police aide-arun added. Arun and his fancy world of stories-I said to myself. But deep down my heart, couldn’t stop regretting myself of not helping that lady.
I was blank. It was one of the main news in the newspaper. That girl was dead. The headline read- “LADY BRUTTALLY Raped AND KILLED. From the paper it was evident that this girl’s had some problem with her husband, and so was living in a hotel. Cutting down the crap, I went directly to the second last paragraph which said-“28 September that is yesterday, her husband came to her and apologized, and she feeling that he had had actually changed, decided to leave with her husband. For celebrating their patch up they decided to go for a dinner (These news guys are so in need of a course to be CONCISE-I SAID TO MYSELF!!!) and then went for a dinner. The husband got drunk and the couple ended up having a fight right up in the hotel.” So half there way to home, the hubby stopped his scooter and said that since she had defamed him in front of strangers she would have to pay for it. He forced her out of the car and fled.
The girl is supposed to have stood there for help for hour’s .Many vehicles passed her. But no one came to her rescue. Hour’s later police found her body in Hydel canal. Post mortem has confirmed a case of gang rape. Police has registered a case against her husband.
I was completely taken aback. I could have helped her, if I had won over my apprehensions. “Poor girl”-I said to myself. Wiping the sweat off my brow, I took a long breathe…”poor girl”-I said again.

Friday, August 1, 2008

SHEEBA'S WATER BROKE......

Sheeba’s water broke…
It was about 2 years since we had stopped talking……
College life is a very confusing part of one’s life, at least it was for me…. I still remember that day, it was two weeks before our university exams, and we had gone to collect our hall ticket to the last exams of our degree life-ticket to the real mean life. We were just strolling when she asked, “Where’s our relationship going?”
The only thing I could say was, “Why….what happened?? And why on earth are you even asking such a question?” The answer was that I had never ever thought about it myself! I liked her…..good gal…..would always give her assignments to me for cogging. And best of all she could even drive, which meant free ride for all parties! The reader might get a feeling that I had used this poor gal….but hey it was she who had proposed to me; and hey I was just 19yrs old……not mature enough to understand anything about such a relationship….any relationship! I just meant to enjoy the last 2 yrs of my college life in the company of a pretty lady!!!!
After waiting for my answer….which I couldn’t give, she said-“I told my parents about us yesterday!!! I started imagining her 6 feet tall Sikh dad running behind me to cut off my balls off!!! She continued, “They were pretty upset that I was in love with a non-sikh!”
I said to myself,
[A]in love with???
[B}non sikh???
Now I had all the more reasons to hate her parents! I could see Vipul from where I was standing. Vipul, who had an eye on Sheeba from the first year. I waved at him to avoid him from coming near with his nonsensical-‘I brought this Gucci watch last week’ and stuff alike. I had never liked him, and I guess the situation is pretty much the same the other way round as well. After a pause she added, “They were asking me about our future plans, and I said I’ll let them know.”
I could see that people standing around us were taking interest in our conversation, so I said, “Let’s move to the library.” Once there, I started off my defense….the answer was simple…I was never serious about her.”I am sorry….”-I muttered. Suddenly she interrupted-“I have pretty much of an idea of what you want to say; so if you don’t want to be committed just walkout from here….from my life.
I tried many times to talk to her after that day…..I was scared to call her, fearing her parents would pick up the call…in rout she had changed her profile from –“love is life” to all men are dogs….so I pretty much got an impression that this relation was dead…..
We never had any communication after that….I joined for my post grad in advertisement…a I heard she joined for an M.com
“this a/c is very important for our company, year !!!we need to give them a fundoo advertisement so that they retain contact with us.”-I heard Harish telling the newcomers. Suddenly what struck me was a scene were A prostitute being scolded by her pimp for not attending to his customer properly.”!!!I went to his desk and said-they have been working for a day and half flat, Harish….they need a break..even that pataka -shikha oberoi- has started getting a stubble sitting for so long!!!Harish laughed n said-kya kare, bhai !!!they have to learn it someday. remember when we joined ,we had that fiery Alok on our head, making us work like shit!!!! Koi nai seekh jayenge(they’ll learn it one day!!) I went back to my desk and continued my work .
It was past 7:30pm.harish had at last send the fresher’s home. The office had become silent. I was just thinking of leaving when the phone rang.
Hello??I said sleepily. I hadn’t slept in 2 days. work had started taking a toll on me.
Is this Anand Sharma??said a female voice…
“Yeah. and whom may I be talk…”-I was going to complete sentence
When the female voice started replying-“this is Sheeba Singh”. remember me”??she enquired. I was once again engulfed with an old Hindi movie scene where after many years, a girl calls up her former flame bursting off on the phone saying-“Suresh ,me tumari Bache kid ma bane wail hub” .” yeah sure”-I said. I was sweating .why?? after 5 years of completely no communication,……was getting confused.
“and how’s life, yaar”-she asked. I was completely blown away. why would this gal be calling after so many years??is she still having the regret??? the only thing I could thing was that orkut profile of hers which said-all men are dogs!!
I finally opened my mouth and asked-are you in Delhi??
Arre what an idea…why don’t we meet?? she said
Eh….ok…..may be she had moved down…..she could have got a person much better than me; be it physically or “economically”!!!! I always asked myself why she proposed to me. She was a beautiful ,very rich Punjabi girl ;and here I was a fatso , born in a middle class family . But I guess love was in fact in literal sense-BLIND….
OK-I muttered.
I am living in…..””she continued. I quickly wrote her address
So lets meet day after tomorrow….Sunday he…..u will also be free-she said
Ok.-I said absent mindedly. the fact was I had got nervous. real nervous .I imagined her father jumping out of the bushes (with his great sword)and yelling-“you @#$@@!!!!!you ruined my child ”s life. I am Gonna kill you-in Punjabi..
That night as I lay in my bed, I started thinking about the time we shared in our college .Those late night films we saw sitting in the backseat, the MBA coaching we went together. Like Time was at our command. Lying in my bed that night, I started weaving out many questions- will her parents be still angry at me?? Most importantly, did she ever forgive me?? And why on earth had she called me home?? in our 2 year relation she had never invited me to her house. so why?
It was a pleasant evening. It had rained all afternoon and now there was this sweet smell of wet sand everywhere. and here I was standing in front of my drawer-trying to get into my jeans-which somehow had got a bit tight. either it had shrunk lying unattended for many month or that all that junk food I had been eating (from my office as lunch and dinner for the past 1 month due to late night) started showing its magic!!
It took me hour and half to reach where Sheeba now lived. She was living in one of those duplex house-apartments. I parked my car and looked around. even though I knew it was too filmy, but I somehow was scared that if her father be hiding behind the bushes. too many stupid Hindi movies I told myself. I took out the bouquet of flowers, as always-daisies, Sheeba was allergic roses, if I remember correctly. As I rang the bell, I suddenly became conscious. I had expected herself or her mother be opening the door. But it her maid . she asked very politely to sit. Everything was picture perfect. A big Italian designer sofa, an 27inch TV of Samsung. it was our company which had made its commercials. a big chandelier. I was just busy gazing out Sheba’s front room, when ,Suddenly ,the maid spoke-madam is just coming. please sit.
I didn’t sit, but preferred to go have a look at the big showcase, which was placed at the end of the room. There were pictures of many people, a whisky bottle (I still wonder how on earth people prefer to keep them in the front room itself),many awards which Sheeba had won in school and college. it was then when my eyes fell on this big framed photo ,on which a garland was hung. It was her father!! it shook my head in disbelief. Here I was-speaking about him hiding behind some bush; whereas the fact was that he had gone. I went back and sat. and then she entered the room. She was pregnant. Her tummy was so big, that I bet she was just weeks away from “glory”. My first sentence I spoke to her, rather muttered in disbelief was-“it wasn’t me!!!”I think she didn’t hear me….I hoped so. then entered the main guy-Amardeep Singh. Sikh. I bet her parents would have been one happy bunch when she had chosen her life-partner (or they had)
He came near me and said-“hi, I am Amir. ” we shook hands and I sat back. Sheeba went and sat to my opposite sofa. Amar joined.” So, when did you guys marry”-I asked. I had to ask them something. “its been 2 yrs, yar ”. She said smilingly.” and in about 3 weeks time we going to start a new chapter of our life. she continued. ”I really wish mom had not gone to that trip to golden temple around this time”-it was Amar who spoke now. Amar added-“I would have been a boon if she was around for her delivery,”
“But Sweetu, mom will me back in a few days time and wese bhi no one in either your family or mine have come before time!!!sab late lateef he!!”-she said laughing aloud sat there looking at those 2 love-birds engulfed in there talk., and smiled .I think she saw me smiling. Winking at me she lowered her head to his shoulder and rested. So- she suddenly again sparked up the conversation she added-so Anu, you got married??I was after so long that I had heard my pet-name from her mouth. It was soothing. “ no ,yaar”.” apne type ki mili nai rahi. Wese bhi thinking of changing my line. No life, yaar”.-I replied back
We chatted for some hours .we talked about many of our common friends who had got married, how we had bunked college and went for watching movies, ajar also spoke about his college days and all. I came to know Amar was a financial analyst in an MNC .suddenly Sheba changed the topic and said-its getting pretty late ,lets have our dinner” .he got up and started walking towards the next room where the dinner table was .Amar was the first to leave, followed my me.” please sit”-said Amar. As had just sat, when Sheba who was standing beside me started shrieking. Sheeba’s water had broken. I sat for a second, my brain completely not following what was going around me.
Amar was the first to reach out to her, followed by me. I ran outside to bring my car a as near to the house as possible. My car had just gone through its first servicing, clean interiors and shining. We helped her into the car and got in ourselves. I could see Amar was getting pretty nervous. My head was still not working. Where am I supposed to take her . Anyways I took off my car. Luckily Amar had got a control of him and told me, as we moved outside their apartments, of a hospital nearby. We reached their in no time. We laid her in the stretcher and dashed to the labor room.
I waited outside the labor room, as Amar went to deposit the money and call Sheeba’s mother. I was later told by Sheba herself that Amar was scared of seeing blood. I stood there totally blank. I looked around and saw a television in the hallway. Trying to bring my senses back , I went and sat in front of it. There were some compounders sitting beside it already. I could see Amar coming. I got up and started walking near him. he came near me and smiled. ”doc, says it will take 3 hours more, so if want you could leave. You have to go to work also, an ?? I think your right“-I said. but didn’t move. ”doctors had warned us about it.” he muttered. her health was not what you called as “perfectly normal”.-he added. It was past 11:45pm and I hadn’t slept for 2 days. Even though it Saturday and Sunday were officially holidays, we would have had to come if there was work or a deliverable was at due. so I decided to leave.
It was about 2a.m when I heard my mobile ringing. Who the hell was it be??-I wondered. half awake, I pulled myself out of the bed and received the call. ”it’s a girl!!!”-I heard someone shrieking from the other end. ”what?? ”-I said,. "this is Amar. Sheba delivered a healthy baby girl, yar!!”,Amar exclaimed. Hearty Congratulations yar !!!- I said. H e told me it was a affair. “chalo,yar .”-Amar said, ”let me call up other guys also”, and disconnected the call. I stood there for a second. And then smiling at myself went back to sleep. The next day I went to meet her in the hospital. it was past noon when I reached the hospital Since the baby was premature they had to do some tests and keep him in incubator. As I walked inside her room, I saw her smiling at me. you know I actually feel that just after delivery mothers look a bit…..how should I say this….drunk!!!! anyways, I went near her.” they just took the baby for some tests; she was with me all this time”-she said. So how does the mother feel?-I asked. ”just fine” she said.” just a bit tired I guess!!”she added. “you know Anu , I don’t know if it will be appropriate to tell you this; but when I was in labor, I really thought if this pain would never stop”-she said. I could see that her eyes were still reddish. I smiled. ”so where’s the father?’I enquired. ”he was here till 10am.-,she said.” Then left for home for a nap”. So when is your mother coming-I enquired?”actually she had booked a ticket for Tuesday night, but since I was a “spoilt brat” and delivered early(there was a smile on both our faces), she’ll be flying down today evening”. and then there was a big silence. My book of -“generally ASKED questions to pregnant women-had exhausted.

“You know Anu ”, after a long pause Sheba started speaking-“when we had just broken from our relationship ,(oh-oh she still has a grudge on me??what am I??Hitler to be disliked all life??-I thought)-“I was very angry at you”.”I was so depressed that I stopped talking to anyone.” be it friends, my parents, or relatives”. I gulped.” it was that when my dad came to me and something which changed my outlook of life”.” he said- see child ,I may not be an Opera Winfrey, but I seriously think you have made a mountain out of a mole”.”I gave him a dirty look”. ”then he added-“see there will be a hundred Anus’ who will come and go in your life. And if you start getting depressed every time , you wont be able to live, child.”, she stopped. wiping a tear, she continued-“he added, by saying-“I know your on a critical juncture of your life; you’ll meet many people. and one day meet your partner”. don’t force yourself to anything. just flow with the tide. And don’t worry about such stupid things so early.” Take your time and jump into anything only when your cent percent sure about it”.” Or wese bhi you’ll have to marry a sikh only”, he said jokingly .” and not any bangali or whoever and wiped my tears.”.: and that made me forgive you”.It took me a month, but yes I did….
My respect of her father was grown in the past 24hrs.he was not at all what I had thought of him. He would have, however cut off my balls, for making his little princess cry. I wished her good health and left the hospital. A little shaken, a little giddy. But somehow feeling very happy from inside, I smiled at myself and got into my car.

Saturday, January 26, 2008

WHAT TO BLOG?


After mighty efforts of trying to compete with my co-classmates academically and on the playingfield,i left my school with a "will do it in college"-list comprising of things like-to learn how to play at least 1 sport properly,d "magic-trick" of getting gud marks etc
but things went pretty out off order and here i am.....having still no idea where my marks go,even though i had "PERFORMED WELL!!SOB SOB
SO....as the cookie crumbles.....one of my wish in my BUCKET -LIST was to own a blog...so here it is!!!
Readers are however advised parental guidance and tons of patience for my bad sense of humour!!!!And please do send in your suggestions.